Our new story begins back in the age before Vegemite and Stroopwafels, when unicorns roamed about horning KevinP in the most annoying way. However, was a woman named Moose, whom Nicolas was completely infactuated with. Wanking like there's no tomorrow, the Mooyagicorn imagined a glorious golden sunbeam penetrating the netheregions of our own forum 'Mcqueen', Debborah. We all know she enjoys copulation with sunbeams while head banging to Thrash metal. Following this, hoards of chaos began to spew from the Moose-woman, scaring Nicolas into sharing his sparkly vampires obsession with countless preteen girls ready to take him to the brig for kinky role playing games and throwing caution to the wind.
Suddenly, a zombie horde began singing Humpty Dance, much to Kevin's approval. He sang every word! His beautiful soprano voice echoed throughout the vast enchanted forest of rainbows. Suddenly, bears appeared, drawn by the sweet aroma of old spice man who had no clue that bears love deodorant. The bears raised upon their manly musk to impress and arouse the Dildobox that was watching, but to no avail. Suddenly, out of nowhere the drool brigade forms a naked pyramid. Everybody ran to see the broads' bewbs but before they could get a view the Noodlin' Nutter popped out of the cleavage pile, nuts ablaze. The zombies suddenly stopped, awed by 13' nutspan and uncanny scrotal smoothness: they looked like brains! Not like Bill's grapes (thousand of juicy grapes!), but pure, nutrient-rich BRAINS!
Baited, the zombies lurched! And when they did, they hurled over the fabulously flavoured phallic fencepost installed by gay sasquatch. Being cluless, the sasquatch innocently went over to the zombie horde queen and began to play Mozart's Requiem, which burned Viking Bitch's hotel bible, attracting hungry lustful bears. Luckily, the sasquatch had Metalwrath's home phone number. Just one call, and he will be ready to go on a ruthless blind-rage acid trip attack.
The magical dancing crabs aren't part of this... died in a fire!
The threat of Metalwrath, the sasquatch warned the zombies, is enough to confound even mighty Zeus. Though Kevin knew the location of Zeus's Barbies he was scared of their pink high heels and his lust for big, unicorn shaped piñatas full of Hammerfall CDs also mixed with Blackguard. "¡¡¡VELOCIDAD ABSURDA!!!" screamed Kate,