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GOT A GOOD JOKE??
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    Ravenlord
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Ravenlord » Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:13 am

    A spammer walks into a forum...

    Stolen from the interwebz:
    What is the difference between a spammer and a bucket of shit?
    The bucket

    What's the difference between a spammer and a catfish?
    One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

    What's the difference between a porcupine and a bus full of spammers?
    The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

    What's the difference between a dead spammer on a street and a dead dog on the street?
    There are skid marks in front of the dog.

    What's the difference between a pile of dog shit and a spammer?
    People try to avoid stepping on the pile of dog shit


    Actually funny:
    Q: Mom, can you get pregnant from anal sex?
    A: Of course, where do you think spammers come from?
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    Ravenlord
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Ravenlord » Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:21 am

    Earlier today, a man was hospitalized with 6 small toy horses stuck up his butt.

    Doctors described his condition as stable.
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    KevinP
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by KevinP » Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:58 am

    Ravenlord wrote:A spammer walks into a forum...


    Well I heard a much more offensive version of these joke my whole life. Definitely not forum material & had nothing to do with spammers ;)
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    ShoreSlayer
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by ShoreSlayer » Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:43 am

    From an e-mail sent to me by a buddy...

    It came along with the following picture:

    Image

    Husband Down

    A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

    The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

    'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

    'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies.

    'Put them back, we can't afford them' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

    A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

    ˜What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

    'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

    Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'

    HUSBAND DOWN!, HUSBAND DOWN!, AISLE 7
    So far at least, 2011, 2012 & 2015 were enough for me
    :shred:Book 'em ANDO!! :headbanger:

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    mooyagi
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by mooyagi » Sat Mar 19, 2011 8:44 am

    :lol: :lol: :lol: I love that one!
    I should get around to updating my signature
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    Dutchguy-Tim
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Dutchguy-Tim » Sun Mar 20, 2011 5:34 am

    never gets old :lol:
    Hornblowing survivor of 70.000 tons of metal January 2011 / 2012 / 2015
    counting down to 70.000 tons of metal 2018

    what the hell did you do this winter?
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    Lala
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Lala » Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:40 am

    REDNECK FARM KID
    in the Marine Corps

    Dear Ma and Pa,
    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
    I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay.
    Practically nothing.

    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

    We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

    The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why.. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake .. I only beat him once... He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter ,
    Alice
    2011 - survived - 2012 - survived - 2013 - survived - 2014 - survived - 2015 - survived - 2016 - survived - 2017 - survived - 2018 - survived - 2019 - survived - 2020 - survived - 2021 - definetly maybe NO

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    Dutchguy-Tim
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Dutchguy-Tim » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:57 am

    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    very good!
    Hornblowing survivor of 70.000 tons of metal January 2011 / 2012 / 2015
    counting down to 70.000 tons of metal 2018

    what the hell did you do this winter?
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    ShoreSlayer
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by ShoreSlayer » Mon Jul 25, 2011 7:50 pm

    Stolen from Todd Glass doing a bit on Tosh.0...

    So this girl comes up to me and asks, "Does my breath smell like tacos?"

    I said, "I don't know, do you put cat shit in your tacos?"
    So far at least, 2011, 2012 & 2015 were enough for me
    :shred:Book 'em ANDO!! :headbanger:

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:33 pm

    Schrodinger's Cat walks into a bar... and doesn't.
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:49 pm

    Helium floats into a bar.
    Bartender says, "We don't serve Noble Gases here."
    Helium does not react.
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by sageoftruth » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:38 am

    A guy fell over and his bank card and checkbook fell down a manhole.

    Looks like he lost his balance.
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by AlaskaRachel » Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:46 pm

    ShoreSlayer wrote:Stolen from Todd Glass doing a bit on Tosh.0...

    So this girl comes up to me and asks, "Does my breath smell like tacos?"

    I said, "I don't know, do you put cat shit in your tacos?"

    I just saw this episode :lol:
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:53 pm

    Higgs Boson walks into a church.
    The Preacher says, "We don't want your type around here."
    Higgs Boson replies, "But, without me, how can you have mass?"
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    AlaskaRachel
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by AlaskaRachel » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:07 pm

    DrinkMoxie wrote:Higgs Boson walks into a church.
    The Preacher says, "We don't want your type around here."
    Higgs Boson replies, "But, without me, how can you have mass?"

    This is your third physics joke. I dig it. :beerwink:
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:28 pm

    Neutron goes up to the bar and orders drinks.
    Bartender says, "For you, no charge."
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    DrinkMoxie
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:30 pm

    Tachyon leaves a bar.
    Bartender says, "We don't welcome your type here."
    Tachyon walks into a bar.
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    DrinkMoxie
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:38 pm

    A neutrino walks into a bar.
    Bartender says, "What do you think you're doin' here?"
    "Don't worry," replies the neutrino, "I'm just passing through."
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    AlaskaRachel
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by AlaskaRachel » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:43 pm

    DrinkMoxie wrote:A neutrino walks into a bar.
    Bartender says, "What do you think you're doin' here?"
    "Don't worry," replies the neutrino, "I'm just passing through."

    :heavydrink:
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    mooyagi
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by mooyagi » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:46 pm

    AlaskaRachel wrote:
    DrinkMoxie wrote:Higgs Boson walks into a church.
    The Preacher says, "We don't want your type around here."
    Higgs Boson replies, "But, without me, how can you have mass?"

    This is your third physics joke. I dig it. :beerwink:


    As someone who holds a Physics degree, I've heard waaaay too many of these. Had a professor that started every class with one. I think I laughed 3 times all semester :|
    I should get around to updating my signature
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:53 pm

    mooyagi wrote:
    AlaskaRachel wrote:
    DrinkMoxie wrote:Higgs Boson walks into a church.
    The Preacher says, "We don't want your type around here."
    Higgs Boson replies, "But, without me, how can you have mass?"

    This is your third physics joke. I dig it. :beerwink:


    As someone who holds a Physics degree, I've heard waaaay too many of these. Had a professor that started every class with one. I think I laughed 3 times all semester :|


    I like 'em, plus they actually do help people remember certain terms in context
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:54 pm

    women's rights
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by mooyagi » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:55 pm

    DrinkMoxie wrote:women's rights


    :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh that would start a shitstorm if women were able to read :P
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by AlaskaRachel » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:57 pm

    mooyagi wrote:As someone who holds a Physics degree...

    :shock: --Comment withheld for Marlo's sake.--

    It had something to do with hot nerds.
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by AlaskaRachel » Tue Jul 26, 2011 10:58 pm

    DrinkMoxie wrote:women's rights

    Oh you are so funny. :roll:
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:00 pm

    AlaskaRachel wrote:
    DrinkMoxie wrote:women's rights

    Oh you are so funny. :roll:

    admit it... you chuckled
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by mooyagi » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:01 pm

    AlaskaRachel wrote:
    mooyagi wrote:As someone who holds a Physics degree...

    :shock: --Comment withheld for Marlo's sake.--

    It had something to do with hot nerds.


    :ugeek: :ugeek: :ugeek:
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Fatum11 » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:09 pm

    mooyagi wrote:
    DrinkMoxie wrote:women's rights


    :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh that would start a shitstorm if women were able to read :P


    :lol: :lol: ... wait, what are you trying to say :? :P
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Memnoch » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:13 pm

    Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
    To get to the same side.
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:24 pm

    Memnoch wrote:Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
    To get to the same side.

    :lol:
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Tue Jul 26, 2011 11:26 pm

    Man, I tell ya, entropy just isn't what it used to be...
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by sageoftruth » Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:48 am

    A cow walks into a bar.
    "What can I get you?" the bartender asks.
    The cow responds, "Moo."
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by mooyagi » Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:54 am

    sageoftruth wrote:A cow walks into a bar.
    "What can I get you?" the bartender asks.
    The cow responds, "Moo."


    :|
    I should get around to updating my signature
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by sageoftruth » Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:55 am

    A 0, a 1, and a 2 walked into a bar. 2 sent 1 and 0 up to get drinks for the table.

    Later, 1 returned to the table.

    "So, how much do each of us owe?" 2 asked.

    1 responded, "I'm not good at math, so the bill was divided by 0." And then 2's head exploded.
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by Memnoch » Wed Jul 27, 2011 11:57 am

    What is CH2O?
    Seawater.

    What do you call a benzene ring in which the carbon atoms are replaced by iron atoms?
    A ferrous wheel.
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by EvilDan » Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:31 am

    There are 10 types of people in the world.

    Those that understand binary, and those that don't.
    Never take anything I say seriously.

    Am I Evil? I am Dan. Yes, I am! :twisted:
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by DrinkMoxie » Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:17 am

    EvilDan wrote:There are 10 types of people in the world.

    Those that understand binary, and those that don't.


    classic!
    Borknagar-Powerwolf-FolkEarth-Metalachi-GreenCarnation-Atoma-JulieLaughsNomore-Skyfire-BlackKirin-Shangren-WitheredBeauty-...AndOceans-Hypocrisy-Nightfall-Gardenian-AblazeMySorrow-WithoutGrief-ACanorousQuintet-BurdenOfGrief-Excretion-CardinalSin-CallenishCircle-InThyDreams-EternalLies-Miscreant-Eucharist-BuriedDreams-Shadow-Amsvartner-EbonyTears-ManipulatedSlaves-NailWithin-Flying-Dispatched-NeglectedFields-LegionOfTheDamned-CarnalForge-Gojira-RiverBlack-CarBomb-Damaged-Xentrix-LakeOfTears-Neurosis-Conjurer-Minsk-Mindrot-Morgion-EyesOfFire-DestroyJudas-Dyscarnate-Exhorder-Onslaught-Sargon-Sacrifice-Sodom-Darkane-Nothnegal-TheCrown-CeremonialOath-SinsOfOmission-EternalTearsOfSorrow-Sigh-Whispered-Jaldaboath-DescendIntoNothingness-CrestOfDarkness-Carcariass-In~Quest-Anata-Bal*Sagoth-Witherscape-DimensionZero-MentalHome-Myrath-Illogicist-Hacride-Acrassicauda-Impious-NightInGales-EndOfGreen-SpiralArchitect-EphelDuath-Nostromo-DimensionF3H-RedHarvest-Vinterland-Heidevolk-GreenJello-Pist*On-Zimmer'sHole-Trepalium-Vintersorg-UnleashTheArchers-SamBlackChurch-Downpour-SevendayCurse-GreySkiesFallen-DaylightDies-MyHiddenSin-ThisEnding-FrostGiant-TheAbsence-LightThisCity-Dagon-ConditionCritical-GospelOfTheWitches-BlackEarth-FrostyEve-MeadowsEnd-ComposMentis-WitheringSurface-InThousandLakes-TheZephyr-FragmentsOfUnbecoming-Seducer'sEmbrace-TheExcrementoryGrindfuckers-Whitesnake-WhiteZombie-SkidRow(w/SebastianBach)

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by EvilDan » Fri Jul 29, 2011 6:58 am

    Yeah, that's one of my faves. Not so good is...

    If you're not part of the solution,
    You're part of the precipitate.
    Never take anything I say seriously.

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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by ShoreSlayer » Mon Nov 05, 2012 7:04 pm

    This thread needs more posts!!

    Every few weeks, SNL does a skit lampooning Fox News that ends with one of the hosts saying something like, "We have to take a break now but first, our fact checkers have finished pouring over the first hour of the show and we have a few corrections" Then a list of text scrolls by at high speed. It's always a great read. Here's the one from this weekend:

    Transitions lenses do not reverse the gender of your eyes.
    Sandy Duncan did not “sponsor” the hurricane.
    There are many black people, not just one who is a master of disguise.
    Brian Kilmeade did not invent the term “smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.”
    Not all pigs are born with human feet.
    Angela Merkel is not the female version of Steve Urkel.
    It is permissible to say the word “Mexican” on television.
    There is no celebrity named Rape Romano.
    Condoms work every day of the week. Not just Tuesdays.
    Trees do not have bones.
    There are a finite number of people in China.
    Burritos are not “male tacos.”
    The Constitution is a living document, but it cannot walk around.
    Chef Boyardee is not the Prime Minister of Italy. He is the Vice President.
    Paul Ryan is not faster than a cheetah.
    FEMA is not slang for female.
    Many Hispanics own their own cars.
    The Statue of Liberty was not a gift from Santa.
    At no point has Dorf been the number one golfer in the world.
    Lance Armstrong did not trade a testicle for steroids.
    Michael J. Fox does not have “multiple sandwiches.”
    Apple Maps is not a map showing where the apples are.
    8 IS a multiple of 4.
    Women’s vaginas are below their waists.
    “Kris Krostie” is not Chris Christie with his pants on backwards.
    Afi Komen was never the U.N. Secretary General.
    Haitian does not mean “half-Asian.”
    Last Wednesday was Halloween. Not a “ghost invasion.”
    Mr. Met has never announced a preference for any religion over the other.
    Chef Boyardee is not the Vice President of Italy.

    BTW, with tomorrow being US erection day, I was thinking of saying I hope they re-elect Obama but I recently realized that democracy just means the lowest common denominator gets to decide who rules so I'm being forced to completely rethink my politics. Damn it! :shock: :evil:
    So far at least, 2011, 2012 & 2015 were enough for me
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    Re: GOT A GOOD JOKE??

    by X-Thor » Mon Nov 05, 2012 7:26 pm

    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders one quarter of a beer, the fourth orders one eight.

    The bartender sighs "You are all idiots", he says, and pours two beers.
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