audrey wrote: There are moments that I think that I am just meant to be a smoker.
I have never taken a puff so I can't talk you through the physical withdrawal, but I got my wife off them when we first started dating. (I assume Karl is a smoker? If not, he needs to raise hell and make life miserable for you (so it becomes better when you don't smoke)).
She was a very casual smoker, would not have them everyday, only when stressed or whatever she would have a few. Every so often I would find a pack in her purse and I would be pissed off (to put it mildly). I don't want to say I verbally "brow beat" her but I made it abundantly clear I was not going to tolerate that and that she needed to stop. I would throw the shitty smelling cancer sticks in the garbage.
Thankfully she stopped completely soon after that, probably cause she got sick of hearing me whine and complain and carry on to her about it.
Alot of it is mental and I like to think that if you view cigarettes as "corporations pulling the wool over your eyes" it would be easy to say "Fuck Them". You are paying for a product that corporate fat cats devised to addict you into buying all the time like a damn lab rat, while in the process killing you. The thought of that is insulting to me and I automatically REBEL.
Try switching the smoking with something else like working out. I know for me to get rid of any "obsessive habit" I need something else to focus on as an outlet for me energy. Probably since I don't drink/smoke gamble, I make fun of Deb, annoy the hell out of my wife and am a general "wise ass" as my outlet to relieve stress.
And if none of that works for you, you'll have my love and adoration if you quit. That should get you through any mental barrier.