
That's cause I am...

70000 TONS OF METAL TIPS LIST:
1. Get to port early. The line gets longer in the afternoon, so arrival @ 11:45am will help you beat the line.
2. The hotel concierge/front desk can help you arrange a shuttle to the port. I've stayed at airport properties a few times and it costs @ $11 per person.
3. Get some breakfast before arrival and departure, and don't forget to poop. The wait times getting on and off the ship and going through customs can be over an hour. Shitting your pants takes roughly the same amount of time.

4. Security/Police don't mess around at the Port of Miami. Mind your P's & Q's and don't take pictures.
5. Explore the ship. I didn't know about the Viking Crown Lounge until after the first cruise, and I found out later that Amon Amarth was up there for a while.
6. Get your merch during the headlining acts. Fuck waiting in line.
7. The food in the fine dining restaurant is not that great, and it takes a long time to get on your table. (Just my opinion)
8. Smoking is permissible only in designated areas, and those who smoke should be respectful of The Majesty of The Seas and other cruisers. Use the ashtrays. When hard wind blows on open decks, don’t smoke cigarettes there.
9. Don't mob the musicians. Be respectful. They're on vacation too. Buying them a drink and saying hi is cool, but don't ask for autographs unless it's an appropriate time and place. I've never had a problem asking for a picture though.
10. Use the outlets for ordering drinks. The servers that walk around charge an additional service fee, so to avoid that, just go to a bar. They're everywhere.
11. Be respectful of your cabinmates. No one likes puke in the shower or a mess in the room, so clean up after yourself and flush when you're done.

12. Beware of flooded bathrooms. (Does anyone have advice for if this should occur?)
13. Don't book shore excursions on the boat. Figure it out for yourself and save some money
14. Don't worry about getting off the boat immediately if you don’t have a flight to catch. Breakfast is available for departing passengers, so take advantage of it before you leave. Enjoy some last drinks with your new friends. The disembarking line is huge anyway. Better to relax than to sit in the hall waiting.
15. The housekeeping staff is phenomenal. Tip them accordingly if you prefer, but gratuities are included with the price. Same with the bartenders.
16. Avoid the casino unless you have the extra cash. If you're on a budget, don't do it. They will take your money, but have fun while it's happening. And they are only open while at sea.
17. Pay attention to your muster station number. You'll need to go there when the signal is given.
18. Don't lose your Sea Pass Card. Store it safely at all times. If you do misplace it, report it to Guest Services on Deck 4 immediately.
19. Don't take pictures of the pictures on Deck 3. They don't like that very much.
20. Go to as many shows as possible! Listen to metal all day, thrash 'til death, and fuckin' party your ass off!!!!
21. Take a bottle of water before heading to the port to board the ship. Waiting in line and thirst don’t match ;-) later on I used the same bottle to get some water to my cabin before my nap.
22. Attend all pre-cruise activities. You will meet fellow cruisers – the friendship starts before boarding.
23. Attend the forum party on the boat after the drill.
24. Alcoholic cocktails or wine cost the same (or almost same) as beer and are great. I wish I knew about cheap Mojitos on my first cruise.
25. When leaving the boat take your luggage with you. It will speed up the time going on shore and you will have your stuff with you at all times. This is instead of placing your bag outside of the cabin at midnight before departure. A night before disembarkment you will receive tags and a message to place your lugage in front of your cabin before (I am not sure about time) let's say 1:00 am. During the night the stewards will move bags to cargo area to unload them from the boat. You can disembark the boat according to the color of your bag tag, times will be given in info bulletin. You can then pick up your bag on land, before going thru the pass control (immigration). I prefer NOT to give my bag away a night before so I carry it myself from the boat at the time I chose to get off the boat. This means I pack my bag last minute before leaving the cabin.
26. Prepare to stay awake for the last night on the boat. This is when the biggest party happens. SLEEP IS THE ENEMY. If you are sleeping you are missing out on fun. It doesn't hurt to plan naps around a few bands that you don't care to catch and on the first couple nights there isn't that much of a party in the karaoke lounge after 5 or 6 am. But, on the last night the party is one of the best parts of the cruise and you do not want to be asleep.
27. Use a “do not disturb” key in the outside lock or a sock on the door if you are “busy” in your cabin with another cruiser J This will help you avoid stress and embarrassment if your cabin mates try to enter.
28. USE SUNSCREEN. No buts... just remember to wear some.
29. It may get windy & chilly at night on sun deck (one above the pool deck).
30. In Bolero Lounge you can chill during the day but it’s very hot during the karaoke nights.
31. Meet everyone, talk to anyone, drink with someone. Have fun, thrash, scream and sing along.
32. Pre-broading at the port can be hectic if you're carrying luggage with you through security. Tip the porter curbside, and get your bag from the hallway outside your cabin roughly an hour after broading the ship.
33. Eat at the Compass Deli. The hours will be listed on the ship program you get in your room every morning. It's tucked away in a corner next to the (bad) pizza place. Some very good soups, sandwiches and quesadillas are available.
34. If you want to talk to Andy undisturbed the best way is to have a cigarette with him in a Bolero during the day :) He's a busy guy apparently!
35. If you buy duty free alcohol it gets delivered to your room at 5PM on the last night...meaning if you want you have 12 hours to drink it rather than taking it with you. If you open it you aren't getting off the boat with it though so make sure you drink it.
36. Buy rum runners and put it in your bag. MAKE SURE YOUR BAG IS SMALL ENOUGH TO CARRY ON WITH YOU, if it is too big to go through the scanners they will check your bag for you and you will lose your alcohol.
37. Check the running order and plan out your whole week to make sure that you can catch as many bands as possible. I messed up on my planning the first 2 years and wound up missing 3 bands each time that I really wanted to see. UMC are getting better every year at running it and the 2 most recent ones happened almost perfectly on time (first night on barge got a little messed, that's all I can remember).
38. Get off the boat on excursion day. If you are on a budget, you don't have to really do anything. Just walk around for a bit, take some photgraphs, soak in the tropical sunshine etc. It's good to get off the boat as you only get the opportunity once.
39. Don't worry about getting to shows too far ahead of time. If you want to be on the rail of a show, just show up 10-15 minutes early. You'd be VERY surprised at how most shows are not even close to full capacity. More cruisers see less shows than you think.
40. The rooms are much smaller and shittier than you think. Be prepared for this. You won't be spending that much time inside anyway so go with it.
41. Don't be a cheap bastard. Tip for excellent service.
42. Catch at least part of one set from behind the stage at the pool deck. VERY cool.
43. The medical staff is terrifying. Try and avoid getting sick or injured in general :).
44. Plan each day out: Plan what sets you'll see. Plan for dinner/food. Be organized. See partial sets. These bands mostly don't hit the U.S. often (if ever). The variety of metal on the cruise is one of it's true highlights.
45. Remember to sleep just enough. Your core bands that you have heard of generally play from 4:00 pm to 2:00 am. I generally stayed up to 4am each night and got up at 10-11. Some people here do crazy shit with no sleeping. The shows are sparsely populated after 1:00 am IMO.
46. Don't worry about excessive moshing, crowd surfing, and or fighting. Doesn't happen. Pure euro crowd. Girls can get close to stage and not have to worry about shit.
47. While in Miami, Little Havana is your friend when you're hungry. Amazing Cuban food (better than Cuba according to my friends who are actually Cuban):
a. El Palacio De Los Jugos - "Fruit Palace" is an outdoor market, go inside and try their fruit juices. Amazing things to put in your mouth.
b. La Camaronera Seafood Joint and Fish Market - Sooooo good. Fish sandwiches. Fresh. Amazing.
c. Versailles - pretty well known place to grab some Cuban food; if it's busy the place across the street is supposedly equally as good.
48. In South Beach party the night before the cruise on the beach. there will be lots of people in Black its hard to miss.
49. Transportation tips:
a. It's pretty standard in Miami to get a baller rental car. If they offer you a cheap upgrade, it's probably because they have too many luxury cars around and are trying to rent them. Only in Miami!
b. Airport Shuttle - if you fly into Ft. Lauderdale (this is a common airport for US citizens to fly into via Southwest Airlines), there's a shuttle that will take you to the port from the airport that's much cheaper than a taxi. It will also bring you back to the airport.
c. Taxis in Ft. Lauderdale/Miami are freaking slow. Almost missed my flight waiting an hour for a taxi to show up after I left the airport for lunch to kill time.
50. Know what areas you're staying in and be safe. Coral Gables is nice, South Beach is nice, a lot of other places are sketchy.
51. If you're feeling really dangerous, you can book your hotel on short notice with Priceline and get really nice hotels for pretty cheap. Not advisable for non-US citizens.
52. Your 8's and 9's where you live are Miami's 5's or 6's. It's a land of very beautiful people

53. Relax, you don't need too plan that much, I had a lot of plans and then, when I was in Miami, didn't do even half of the things I "planned", just met people to drink and "went with the flow". You'll have lots of metal tourist guides. I only made plans for the running order, if you want to see all the bands you like, a minimum plan must be made.
54. Even with bands playing twice each, you will likely not get to see all the performances you would like to. Between bands playing at the same time, unanticipated delays, clinics/other activities, and eats/drinks, you're bound to miss something. I think if you come to terms with that fact, you'll probably relax just a bit more.
55. Stairs are good exercise and quicker, but lifts are awesome because so much random stuff happens in them :)
56. Visit the 'fine dining' restaurant at least once. The staff like to sit people at the same table so you will often end up sitting with band members or roadies (I had an excellent conversation this year with a couple of the guys from In Flames).
57. if you are old like me, stock up on those little 'energy shots' they sell everywhere in Miami. A hit from one of those at midnight really helped get me through to dawn on several occasions. Red Bull is available onbroad, but just be careful not to overdo it with caffeine.
58. Be nice to the security guys. They are only doing their job. And they are nice people. I've became quite good friends with some of them (grandpa, JD, Jason) over the past three cruises.
59. If it becomes a chore to see every single band you want to then you definitely should chill a little. I had my week planned out with the running order but on day 4 there was a few hours where that plan went to the wind and I just partied. At least they are keeping the buffet open later for us, so at 2 in the morning when you are scrambling to catch a bite between bands you have more choices than shitty pizza!
60. Bring something from your country/state (alcohol, candies...) to the beach party. I made a lot of friends just giving away shots of mezcal to random people there. I also got offered A LOT of foreign alcohol and beers (Belgium beer, some weird candy, Finnish alcohol, Puerto Rican rum, Brazilian cachasa, a delicious German beverage that tasted like nutella, Spanish sangria... And some others that I can't remember).
61. Don’t be shy. Everyone in the cruise is incredibly friendly and very cool, so you'll make friends immediately. On that note, make sure to be at the forum meet-up at the basketball court (will it be there again?) after the muster drill. Great opportunity to finally put a face and a voice to everyone here.
62. Alternatively, DON'T get to the port early because you WILL be standing in line forever. We usually leave the hotel around noon and the lines to get onto the ship are not that massive any more.
63. Take your own luggage. The security is NOT like at the airport where you have to take stuff out and as some might remember, Troy or Elizabeth had some money stolen out of their luggage. The rooms are usually ready by 1 or 2pm so you won't have to slep your shit around for long anyways.
64. DO eat in the sit-down restaurant. Last cruise I ate more at the buffet (schedule wise had too) and by Thursday morning my feet and ankles were swollen. I assume the buffet food is loaded with MSG and that's why. Just my opinion.
65. If you order from the same walk around waiter, they WILL remember you (especially if you tip or round up your bill) and DO take care of you faster.
66. You can sleep once back at home or take a power nap in the theaters or on the pool deck. NO reason to go to your cabin during the day to get some zzzz's. No one will paint on your face with a sharpie or disturb you in anyway. People might take pictures with you sleeping but that's about it. (hint - Daniel)
67. - MINGLE - strike conversation with the random dude or dudette next to you. We are all there for the same purpose, no egos.
68. I never got sea-sick, but maybe bring something for that if you think you will. There are patches for behind the ears and pills I think.
69. For the meet -n greet with the bands - the lines are IN-fucking-SANE. Don't expect to have the bands sign all of your stuff. Bring one or maybe two items, take a pic with them and move along so the 100 people behind you will have a chance to do the same. The artists do mingle with the crowd as it is, so no need to hold up the process.
70. DO attend karaoke - it will start off slow on Monday, but by Wednesday at the latest the place is hopping.